Is Work/Life Balance an Urban Myth?

I stumbled upon a Fast Company profile of Sophie Vandebroek and found some pretty interesting reader reactions to her story and the perennial problem of work/life balance.

This article is bullshit, the key thing here is that she is at an executive level where her income is high enough to allow her to have people shop for her and do her laundry. In other words she has enough money to buy herself time. Also as she mentioned she has control over when she wants to be busy which is not the case for 99% of employees who are not executives and are at the mercy of their employers....

Says one male reader. I doubt he read the original article on Sophie or he would have realised that she wasn't on CTO pay from the get go but had reached that position over a period of 10 years, yet she had decided early on she wouldn't be able to juggle everything and made the choice to hire someone, with what would have been likely, an average white collar professional's pay.

....The message across the board was if you fit into a corporate system and you can gain from it based on salary and benefits, your family will be fine. If you can't fit, you get derailed. I have yet to learn how work family balance can work or be achieved for people sandwiched with young children and elder care or people who serve family members (children and adults) who are chronically ill. Sophie is to be applauded and appears to have a lot going for her, because what is also implied is that the kids are doing well and everyone is healthy -- or it is just left to imagination of the reader to believe this. Just one kid with a learning disability could upset the and stir a pot of chaos.

says another. He has a point here, if one has family who required a great deal more care and specialised care, at that, balancing family life with a career requires considerable more work. Different adjustments would have to be made, no doubt, but it is not clear that there is nothing to be learned from a successful woman such as Sophie.

and

This story can be quite touching, and to some, possibly inspirational, but too most, may not have much of a positive effect. Many women experience the situation of the spouse somehow leaving them, and the women end up with all the drudge work. Although it is nice to hear the story of a woman who is able to do these things: have a career and manage the children, home, car, bills, etc., a lot of women aren't fortunate enough to be in a situation where they get enough money to manage these and are allowed some time for themselves. Money is critical; let's face it, and if you don't have it, time is not available because we spend it trying to make money. A woman on an executive level more than likely does not struggle financially, therefore is not a realistic example to use for inspiration. It is important to have some type of time management skill, however, for any woman, especially with children, and this woman does show this quality. Being a mother is quite time-consuming, and if this woman is able to do all of that, the more power to her. But, it would be more feasible to tell the story of a woman who struggles day-to-day, as most women do, and still manages to make time for herself, while not neglecting any other task. A woman such as this would be completely inspirational to all other women, for she would be "on their level" and would tell of something they can relate to. I suppose using a more fortunate woman provides a goal or a standard for less fortunate women to aim towards, but this type would most likely seem unrealistic to most women....

from a female reader. I think this female reader misses the point. A lot of women still have this "superwoman" mentality. They feel guilty for not achieving perfection in everything. It is OK if your home is not spotlessly clean. It is OK if your children don't always get fresh, piping hot home cooked meals, cooked by you. It is OK to teach your children to help out with the household chores and delegate such work out to them, even if they don't get it done perfectly. It is OK to seek outside help and not expect to do everything yourself.

Can't relate to Sophie just because she's a CTO with a bigger paycheck than you? Here's one for you. My grandmother was born in an era where girls in the underclasses did not get the privilege of any formal education. To make ends meet, she worked with my grandfather in the shop every day. They had 6 children and they couldn't afford childcare or any of the luxuries most middle class people today take for granted. She didn't have family to help mind her children. What she did have going for her though, was the ability to delegate and children who were willing to help out with household chores and care for the younger siblings. She taught them responsibility and self-sufficiency. All said, her children didn't do too badly for themselves; they grew up and went on to have careers and families. Sure, my grandmother had my grandfather. But she still had to work every day and still manage the household. She still struggled because they lived through hard times, the kind where one is left wondering when the next meal will be on the table.

If someone has survived through the hard times to succeed in life (by common measures), I don't think it hurts to look at her life to see what lessons we can draw from it.