Probation Review II

** WARNING: May contain offensive material and foul language***

As suspected, the review wasn't too good although it was worse than I had anticipated. "Wasn't too good" is probably an understatement. "Rather harsh" would be a closer description. It seemed like a case of differing expectations that were uncommunicated. I'm a bit pessimistic about my future with them right and am definitely on a look out for a job again. I would have welcomed a quick, even non formal review a few weeks ago, earlier on in the project. Honestly, I think it's best to tell people when they have the opportunity to rectify matters and if you're in the senior position, suggesting the tools/means to do it. The more jobs I've held, the more I'm convinced it's important to have a good feel for the management style of the company, the direct (and perhaps one level up) bosses and working style of the team in general. For instance, I like bosses who are direct and are "active" communicators. If you want something, tell me what you want and if it's reasonable and achieveable, I'd actually try and do it. I hate having to guess what's wanted and it feels even more dreadful when delivery falls short of (unclear) expectations. Although, I think that's partly my fault too. It is up to me to manage expectations, after all. It is up to me to deliver. Results count for much more than effort put in.

Que sera sera. I'm writing about this here so I'll remember this in the future. It is bad to make a mistake, but even stupider to repeat it. Anyway, they said they'll honour the 3 month probation period at the very least and take it from there. I'm going to be weighing up my options from now on. I'm not too keen to stay on any more even if it means I have to return part or all of the relocation "bonus".

I think I'm feeling quite bitter about it because of some things that "old friends" have said. Fuck that. It's my job, my career and my reputation on the line, not yours so you can take your fucking opinions I don't respect any more somewhere else and stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I don't fucking care what you think and if it seems like I've been avoiding you, I probably am. I am angry because I have a cause to. I am angry when a supposed friend puts me down. I am angry because of how I've let certain things happen. So have the good sense to shut the fuck up and go away when I ask you to leave. Have the good sense to stop pontificating. I don't care how drunk you are or whatever excuse you have. Ever heard of the biblical story of Job? Yeah, you're turning into one of those friends who talk too much crap and if you never want to hear from me again, you just keep doing what you do. F*** You.