Baby Mania

You know you're getting older when you're invited to weddings routinely and peers your age pepper their Facebook profiles with photo albums of their cute (and maybe not so cute) progeny. You know you're getting older when you mention offhand to someone at an event that you're there with your family and he immediately assumes you're there with husband and children in tow. You know you're getting older when you're at a party and people assume the man you're with is your husband, not your boyfriend and then proceed to ask about your children or lack thereof. Or maybe that has to do with the people I've been associating with lately and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Whatever it is, being surrounded by babies and little kids has messed with my mind somewhat. I'm not sure if it's my biological clock ticking or if it's my warped sense of competitiveness that's bugging me. Anyway, the thought of having children of my own has crossed my mind several times of late. Of course, my parents have also had a hand in this with their non too subtle suggestions that it's high time I settle down and produce grandchildren.

So after some consideration, I have come up with the following options.

Option 1: Get Married, Have Babies
The most (common and) traditional route. Predicated on "getting married", it is an issue if Mr. Right hasn't made an appearance thus far. Also, finding someone to marry and (hopefully spend the rest of your life with) is a complicated and troublesome affair if you have to factor in your wants, his wants, your parents' wants and your potential in-laws' wants.

This option has some merit with potential economies of scale and financial savings. Of course this is very much dependent on the spouse and may not work out to be any better than the alternative options.

Option 2: Adoption
All things being equal, natural conception tends to be an easier (and arguably more fun) process than adoption. As part of the adoption process, you have to prove that you're financially and mentally able to bring up a child, something that is not required of biological parents.

The adoption process can take months, and even years. That may be true of natural conception as well, but only if you (or your partner) are really unlucky and/or you've left it till quite late in life.

See also Option 4: Single Parenthood.

Option 3: Co-Parenting
Like Option 1, only you're not married to the biological mother/father of your child. Seems liks a fairly common option in a few, very liberal gay and lesbian communities. The idea behind it is that you share responsiblities for the child and bring up the child together, regardless of your relationship with the biological mother/father.

Not without pitfalls either although it could work nicely if both parties agree on shared child rearing responsibilities and equal, if not an equitable, amount of child time share.

Option 4: Single Parenthood
Under current law in several countries, women, if they so choose, can opt to leave the biological father out of the picture. This situation can arise from different circumstances, some of which are highly contentious. Possibly the hardest route; it is perhaps suited to the moneyed and is arguably detrimental to the child.

So anyway, option 1 would be ideal (or perhaps I should say least contentious) as it is the expected route for me to take but extremely bothersome. I have been toying with the idea of option 2 although no doubt that would leave a lot of people horrified, not least of all my parents.

All said, I probably shouldn't even contemplate having my own children when I haven't sorted out my life yet. I'm not fond of taking care of pets or plants and I've never found babysitting to be that much fun, so I'm hardly the nurturing, motherly type. So what's a good substitute for this crazy urge for offspring?