How Not to "Make Friends"

It was another scorching hot summer day. I was heading to the library in the mall to escape the terrible heat. Some guy in a security uniform who was walking along me made a passing comment about the heat. Being polite, I answered in kind and continued on my journey to air conditioned bliss. He continued to follow me and started asking the 3 questions I've come to detest very much from a random stranger.

1. Are you Chinese or Japanese (or Korean)?
2. Where are you from?
3. How long have you been here?

My response to that has usually been a grimace of sorts, monosyllabic answers designed to put off the other party and avoid eye contact while walking away. Usually it stops there and they leave me alone. This guy was especially persistent. He kept following me and asked if he could be my friend. He then whipped out his mobile phone and proceeded to ask for my name and number. At this point I'm somewhat creeped out and I really want to lose this guy. I don't really know why, apart from the fact that all my friends have never needed to ask if they could be my friend. And I've never asked anyone to be my friend either. Just asking that question along seems....strange. To shake off this guy, I gave him one of my several throw away email addresses where I could decide at leisure if I wanted further contact.

He walked off and I thought I had finally managed to get him off my back. No such luck. 5 minutes later, he was back with a piece of paper which he thrust at me.

"This is my mobile number. Call me," he said.

I looked at the bit of paper. It had his name, mobile number and email address on it. I gave the kind of half hearted smile in lieu of a verbal response and took it.

That piece of paper is now in the bin. If he emails me, I may reply. Or maybe not.

A friend of mine once asked me if I ever talked to strangers in a public space (like a mall) or on public transport. I do make the occassional, very brief, very polite small talk with strangers (male and female) who initiate the conversation. I've had a conversation on a bus once with a guy who was reading a book I was interested in. We didn't exchange names or numbers but I noted down the details of that book. Likewise, if a stranger approached me about a book, magazine or paper I was reading, I would very likely be more receptive. Otherwise, I don't really like to be bothered by people. It's not that I don't like socialising. I do. I want to meet people who have mutual interests and of like mind and I have, through different means, for a good part of my life. I like meeting new people, but only within a context I'm comfortable with, with certain social protocols, like at a social/networking function or introductions through mutual friends or some other event where I am expecting to meet and talk to strangers. The point is, outside of such a social framework, where I have a point of reference, such face to face contact is actually quite confronting for me.

So here I am thinking about it and something about what the boyfriend said came to mind. As a female, I can get expect to get hit on all the time or not at all. Talk about the devil and the deep blue sea but I suppose that if I really only had these 2 choices, I would have to pick the former. Why? Well, I guess that's something for you to think about.